I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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