Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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