i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
