No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
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Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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