you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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