the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So vagazzling was a success
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
