i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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