that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
