Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
