Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
