Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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