'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
