My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
