on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You took a bar mat shot.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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