Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
