but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
