Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
