Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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