also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
a search helicopter?!
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize