Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
