Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
