I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you didnt know i had herpes?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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