If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
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Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
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Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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