In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
