Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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