Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
