Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Randomize
