I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
