i don't like sucking hair
Your tits are I can't wait for
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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