The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
