Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(424): View more from California

you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain

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(207): View more from Maine

I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?

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(734): View more from Michigan

i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.

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(630): View more from Illinois

He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas

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(601): View more from Mississippi

It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?

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