Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.