Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  ur plase or mine? lol

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.

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  (908): ur plase or mine? lol (1-908): well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine. http://tfl.nu/rmr0
  Replies (12) Good night (1286) Bad night (1969)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?

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  (937): was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"? http://tfl.nu/gea9
  Replies (16) Good night (954) Bad night (3292)
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  (408): View more from California

  Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?

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  (408): Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut? http://tfl.nu/riq0
  Replies (39) Good night (1329) Bad night (4507)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.

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  (570): Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high. http://tfl.nu/0v2t
  Replies (35) Good night (6777) Bad night (1392)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.

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  (440): I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job. http://tfl.nu/xaqo
  Replies (13) Good night (967) Bad night (2923)
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  (562): View more from California

  I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.

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  (562): I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die. http://tfl.nu/mr7u
  Replies (6) Good night (2822) Bad night (1193)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  That was the greatest thing i have ever read.

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  (636): He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping. (314): That was the greatest thing i have ever read. http://tfl.nu/0exi
  Replies (34) Good night (7131) Bad night (2028)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.

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  (815): thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends. http://tfl.nu/i5k2
  Replies (4) Good night (2937) Bad night (752)
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  (516): View more from New York

  its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.

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  (516): its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again. http://tfl.nu/1ovr
  Replies (5) Good night (948) Bad night (1363)
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  (631): View more from New York

  We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts

  (1-631): View more from New York

  Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?

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  (631): We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts (1-631): Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships? http://tfl.nu/5hoq
  Replies (19) Good night (2208) Bad night (1453)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?

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  (585): Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today? http://tfl.nu/z6wh
  Replies (13) Good night (1365) Bad night (640)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!

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  (517): No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf (615): Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?! http://tfl.nu/9d33
  Replies (9) Good night (767) Bad night (1906)
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  (530): View more from California

  I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.

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  (530): I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing. http://tfl.nu/7jie
  Replies (6) Good night (1094) Bad night (351)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.

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  (904): I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing. http://tfl.nu/6kf7
  Replies (2) Good night (647) Bad night (343)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.

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  (717): This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits. http://tfl.nu/qs9c
  Replies (1) Good night (417) Bad night (243)

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