Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize