I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
