Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize