it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She's the barista slut.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
