she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
