oh god the rape fog is back!
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So much Jack, so little girl.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
