The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
