what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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