Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
