if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
