Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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