yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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