hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I checked into jail on foursquare
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
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