Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
