We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
