i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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