i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
the day after is always just damage control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
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