how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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