That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I could make wine with my vomit
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
