just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
