my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
