I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize