I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
