So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Randomize