question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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