He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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