Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
