You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
