I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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